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Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Be the best of who you are! - John Paul


Disclaimer: Only those who can take things sportively and positively can read this article. Rest of the people can skip this one.

What is the biggest problem concerning most of the gays? The one thing that is exploited by bisexuals and straight curious citizens in LGBT community. The answer is open if you have the guts to accept it. 

 'The insecure feelings of gays'

Why should a gay feel insecure?

The most prominent reason for this insecurity is most people label Gays as physically inattractive. Are they so? Not at all. But most gays themselves have this inferior feeling. Is physical attractiveness important? Not at all.  Appearances are deceptive and doesn't carry any warranty or guarentee. Yet the first thing people notice about you is how you look. Genuinely speaking, how many of us open the profile of guys with attractive display pictures? Almost all. At the end of the day character matters everything. But one has the right to look the best of what they are. It is a very basic human nature. 

I strongly condemn the fairness cream advertisements meant for men. We all know in which color actor Surya was introduced in film industry. As far as my memory goes he was dark yet handsome. But now he is endorsing a fairness cream for men. The advertisement itself  is so  arrogant. The advertisement conveys that even though if a guy is muscular and smart he should run away from girls because of his dark complexion. Almost all the fairness cream advertisements try to ingrain a wrong concept that if you are dark you should have complex; you will not get job; you will not end up in a good marriage blah blah blah... How offensive the fairness cream advertisements are! Honestly Mr. Surya. Touch your heart (or your skin for this matter) and say how did you get this complexion? Is it truly because of the cream you are endorsing?

Black is the perfect color for men. In particular Dravidian men. How many of us are turned on by actor Vishal despite his extreme dark complexion? The color itself conveys the sexy and manly nature of many people. I personally have admired dark men. In particular dark men who carried themselves well. Most of you might have seen many dark men who have perfect bodies or good hairstyles or trimmed  facial hairs or with a good dressing sense. Your color doesn't matter.  How you carry off yourselves matter the most. Majority of men as well as women (based on my interactions) have endorsed this fact. It is time you stopped worrying about your color and start to project yourselves in a better light. There is no need for any heavy tonnage of makeups or photoshops. Your voice, your hairstyle (spending a few bucks to get a hairstyle suiting your face is a good investment), the way you smile, your walk, your humorous and sensible talk, the way you carry forward a conversation, the way you compliment others, etc., all adds up to your beauty. 

The next major issue is excessive weight. I don't personally recommend a six pack or a gym body. But to stay fit is a healthy option which most people would agree to be a sensible thing. Many gays never take care about their own bodies and instead swoon over the cheaters laying trap with their gym toned physiques. A simple running combined with cycling and a few push ups and pull ups everyday for six months itself can bring a drastic change in your overall physique (if you don't get the results come and slap me. I will book the tickets for you.) Physical fitness is  not for attracting anyone in the first place. When you are physically fit you feel confident and you avoid a wide variety of lifestyle diseases like Diabetes, hypertension,  excessive cholesterol (don't you ever heard of young men dying of heart attack at the age of  25 or something) etc., Maintaining a decent physique is the right and duty of every man.When you are expecting the other person not to be chubby it is your turn to maintain an average body at least. There is no excuse for retaining chubbiness. Everything can be changed when you change your mind and attitude. Stand in front of a full length mirror without wearing dress and view yourselves. Do you think you are healthy? Is your abdominal obesity good for your health? Do you feel confident? If no then it is right time to start exercising at home combined with simple dietary restrictions. 


Financial wellness: As a gay who wishes to settle down opposing the family and society this is one critical  thing. Most people suffer from the illusion that only upper class people has more number of gays. Wrong to the core. I am not asking people to earn extremely and amass wealth. Earn for your livelihood and dignity. Do you remember the first time you got your salary? The confidence of getting  hard earned money in your hand. Most of the gays feel inferior because of their financial status and background. Come on people. You can make your life happy even if you earn 5000 also. Look for avenues where you can shine. Always upgrade yourselves to survive in the current job scenario. Have high aspirations and set maximum limits for you.

Save at least 10% of your income. One can never predict when disaster will strike. I have seen gays turning into call boys because of their poor financial status. It pains me a lot. Everyone has the right to live with dignity. Struggle for your life. Do even a menial job but never enter prostitution for this sake. You are not gonna become rich overnight or in a single song. Never give up your hope. Dress decently irrespective of what you get. There is no need to buy extremely priced branded clothes to show you off. For example, a shirt from Van Heusen which costs Rs. 3000 could be replaced by another decent looking shirt from Pan America brand which is available for Rs. 500. Both has the same quality and both are decent. The choice is yours. Sometimes investing in a brand is also a good option.  Buying a costly Bata shoe is one such thing. This shoe will last at least for 3 years when compared with the low quality shoe you buy every year. Spending wisely and saving prudently is one thing which most people conveniently forget. There is no need to attend costly gay parties arranged at five star hotels by some upper class gays. There are good NGOs which doesn't charge even a penny and yet arrange for a decent interaction with other gays. Again the choice is yours. Spending heavily in a five star hotel and yet feeling inferior on seeing those upper class gays or opting for a more economical and meaningful meet arranged by local NGOs.

Never spend for the other guy unnecessarily. Even when you become partners share everything equally. That will instill a sense of self - confidence. Don't be dependant on anyone and don't spend like a loser too. I have seen guys spending for the other person in a manner which is still shocking to me. I personally know a gay who have spent around two lakhs to his so-called partner in the past one year. All this is because this gay has an inferiority complex about himself - about his looks, body etc., So when the con identified him to be a perfect target he started milking him and this is going on till date. Imagine. With this two lakhs this gay could have transformed himself. He could have gone to a gym, a good parlour etc., But instead of investing on his health and beauty he invested all those money on a bisexual just because he found that bisexual  to be physically attractive. 

Remember. Everyone tries to exploit others using their insecurities and inferiorities about themselves. When you are confident about yourself and when you started to look at your best who can exploit you. There is no need to be extremely handsome or to have a sculpted body. Be who you are but at the same time be the best of who you are!  

People are there to help you overcome these hurdles. People who survived. Feel free to contact me through my mail i.d. niranj1818@gmail.com. I will share my mobile number there. If you are interested.


10 comments:

  1. really awesome words...esp the last you have written about the complex is the main thing that spoils the life of a gay...nd I like the thought of intelectual living you wrote...keep rocking...sure your writing give confident to the readers,good work john...

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  2. awesome ,awesome, one of the few sensible gay men out there !!
    But facial symmetry, with a square jaw, ofcourse these two are nature's gifts are really advantages :P :D just saying :D

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    1. Thanks Raj. If facial symmetry and square jaw are seen as advantages only Greek Gods will qualify

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  3. Nice post.. all three points are good and Liked the quote "Be Who u are but Be the Best who u are".
    Keep rocking..

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  4. Hi Mr. John Paul,
    Its really a NiCe self-confidence boosting article which I really enjoyed, actually, the whole article. Everyone will agree with yoUr optimistic way of telling the three misunderstood concepts (skin tone, body tone and money tone) which vanishes any day. But one thing which irks me is the quote by Les Brown "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." because technically its wrong since the stars are distant than moon. So the quote must be "Shoot for the Stars. Even if you miss, you'll land in the moon." Sorry for speaking technical things. HoPe yoU will understood this.
    Continue yoUr writings. Expecting more from yoU...
    --- Avid Fascination Towards Seraph...

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    Replies
    1. Thanx Raj for pointing at it. Yeah I know it's technically wrong. But literally its beautiful. From now on I'll stop quoting others and fill with my ideas alone.

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    2. The said quote has been removed Mr. Raju

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    3. Thanks Mr. John Paul for considering my comments...

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