Tantalizing Taboos with ToM... – by TAMILARSAN..

Disclaimer:

This article is meant to create awareness in the minds of people. Writing about professional interactions with clients is unethical but considering the benefit for the larger section of society, it seems to be the right one. This article is based on real life interactions I had with some of the most nefarious playboys in Tamil Nadu. These represented playboys are a decade old playboys. They don't have extraordinary looks or excessive money or talents but are still in business and are considered to be the pioneers in this field.

Statutory warning:

Imitating or trying to live the life of these playboys is highly injurious to physical, mental, moral and social health. Readers are advised to keep in mind that this article is meant to expose their debaucheries as well as to degrade them and certainly not to glorify their activities. 

Me:	My first guest on the show tonight needs no introduction in Chennai circle. Ever since he attained age it had been one roller coaster journey. He redefined the norms to get laid. His group performance skills have become one of the gold standard references for any further shows. One among the most versatile personalities. Please welcome Mr. PB1.
Me:	(After giving a handshake) Welcome to the show. How does it feel to be on this couch?
PB1:	You know that I hate to sit alone even on couch.
Me:	Well well dearie. Stay there. Let me invite our next guest. Our second guest is very special. Coimbatore never lagged behind Chennai in anything. Son of the soil, he is a living testimony to that. He has been a long standing player. His approaches to get noticed and get laid have led to the invention of the term 'flabbergasted'. Highly ethical in his transactions, he is always available and has thrown out a vast ocean of possibilities to the people in his jurisdiction. Please welcome our second guest Mr. PB2.
PB2:	Hi da chellam. Why did it take so long for you to invite me?
Me:	(You will ring the calling bell of my house once and say to the entire world that I slept with you a hundred times. Am not that dumb to mess up with you even over phone). Not like that dearie. I planned to make it legendary with the two of you. (pointing towards both PBs) Both of you have been long standing friends. Tell us about your special relationship.
PB2:	Ours is a decade old friendship. It all started in the #$%^&^ pub of Coimbatore. He paid for my drink and then for my side dish too.
PB1:	Till date it hasn't changed.
PB2:	Shut up. I always offer to pay. But my friends always insist they pay for me too.
PB1:	Thus making him the most economical piece in that area. Verum sarakkum murukkum kuduthe ivana thallitu ponavanga kanakkilla (வெறும் சரக்கும் முறுக்கும் குடுத்தே இவன தள்ளிட்டு போனவங்க கணக்கில்லா – Just a peg with little side dish is enough to screw him).
Me:	Ohh... ok... Now speaking of numbers. Do you keep a record of how many you have met and done so far?
PB1:	When it crossed 1000, we both stopped counting.
PB2:	Do not worry about the numbers dearie. Age is also just a number.
Me:	Yaa... Now you reminded me of age... Speaking of which there has been rumors that PB2 who should be celebrating his 35th birthday is still celebrating his 25th birthday.
PB2:	Do I look like one?
PB1:	How will you? I have spent for the Banjaras facial kit which you squeezed till the last drop within a week.
Me:	Mr. PB1. We have seen you make wide publicity about how you have spent this and that for so many persons. Is there any truth in it?
PB1:	Listen. The product is the same. But the brands are priced differently. Everyone has a price. It’s not always expensive. Pay for it and take it.
Me:	Would you throw more light on that?
PB1:	A guy came from Salem to Chennai to attend a job interview. I offered him a stay in my house. I just gave him a breakfast and dropped him on the way to my office. Night I offered him few drinks and dinner. He gave company with me for 6 hours. In open market, that Guy could be priced at Rs. 5000 for a night. I have hardly spent 500 on that day to get him. Some gets impressed by hospitality. Some by getting wished on their birthdays at midnight 12 PM. Some by small gifts like shirts from unknown brands. Some by how much you praise them. Everyone has a price. What is yours?
Me:	Forget it PB1. Mr. PB2, What is your take on this issue? Considering that you don't spend, have you ever found it hard to get someone you like?
PB2:	People with infinite bad looks have to spend and buy things (looks at PB1). I have my assets.
Me:	Viewers would get a wrong impression. So kindly, explain in detail.
PB2:	What do you say first when you make a call to an unknown person?
Me:	Just a hi or hello.
PB2:	I say, "Hi da chellam. Enna panra ma? Photo la super ah iruntha da kanna. Mama va unakkum pidichirukka? Naan ippo oruthanoda busy ah iruken. Naama evening pesalam machi." (hi darling, What are you doing? You look so good in the picture my dear handsome. Do you like me? Now I am busy with one. So catch you in the evening dear.)
Me:	Astounding. What more do you have to offer?
PB2:	Am a dancer.
PB1:	Ama. Pub la mattum thaan arangetram pannuvaan. (ஆமா, பப்ள மட்டும் தான் அரங்கேற்றம் பண்ணுவான் - yes, but only in the pubs)
Me:	Is it like lap dance?
PB2:	No. I just let out my spirits and my heart always takes me to the right table. Here I use my assets too.
Me:	Being a decent blog, we could not get into talks about your assets. Now tell me about your first experience.
PB2:	Come on. Offer us some drinks.
Me:	Since your type of drinks is not permissible for us, we only serve tea and this platter of fruits.
PB2:	At least, you have kept the banana. (undressing the banana, PB2 swallowed the entire fruit in one gulp much to my astonishment)
PB1:	You see. That.... That is called 'Quality'. Now do you understand the little secrets of PB2's success Tom?
Me:	No more discussions on these quality issues. Let us get back to business. Tell us about your first group experience.
PB1:	It was during my +2 vacation. I got invited by this uncle who was about to get married in a month. He informed me of a little fest, he was organizing in his building.
Me:	Wait. Do you call it as a festival?
PB1:	Yes. It is a two storied building. When I entered he took me to the top floor. I was shocked.
PB2:	For the first and last time in history.
PB1:	It was during the times when we had no FB or PR. Yet that uncle was able to organize 12 guys under a single roof. I stayed there for 4 hours.
Me:	Ohh my God... You must have been very tired on that day. Right
PB1:	Every cell got crushed and every fluid in my body got rushed out (including blood).
Me:	Yuck. No more explanations. I feel so sorry for you.
PB2:	There is more to that story. Don't waste your sorry prematurely. I don't like premature things. The fact is yes, he got tired and he had to crawl the steps to reach downstairs.
Me:	And then?
PB2:	In the downstairs, he found another group of 20 men. And the rest they say, is history.
Me:	My God! 32 men in a single day when you are 17 years of old and that uncle was able to organize such a festive gathering in days when none of them had access to PR or FB. That's beyond description.
PB1:	I got trained by the best in business and now I have successfully organized so many such festivals in and around Chennai. Mark my words. The guys of this PR and FB generation have the access but not the talent and stamina to carry things forward.
Me:	PB2. With the fifth banana you are taking now, we have a question for you. How about your group performances? Record has it that you still lag behind PB1.
PB2:	As you know I have my ethics. I don't believe in groups.
Me:	Thank God. At last, I found some goodness in you.
PB1:	You are again premature in your opinion. The thing is I saved time by doing 32 in two shifts in a single day. PB2 takes 32 separate shifts in a single day.
Me:	But a day has only 24 hours. How is it possible for you to have 32 shifts?
PB2:	Most of them are just Maggi. Some are Pasta. Very few are like Air India.
Me:	In the sense?
PB1:	Dumb Tom. The cooking time of Maggi is 2 minutes. For pasta it is 5 minutes. And as for Air India...
Me:	Enough. I got it. Forget all those quality issues. Speaking about safety issues, how far are your thousand odd encounters safe?
PB2:	I have latex allergy. Further am always clean. Guys find me to be clean. So never had the issue.
Me:	Means you never used or asked anyone to use condoms
PB2:	I don't like barriers to love. When I was ignorant, few used it. Later I developed allergy.
Me:	You mean the medical allergy?
PB2:	Sick of you moron. Rubbers are for making balloons. Got it?
Me:	Well the viewers (or readers in this case) are requested to check their blood for almost every possible disease in case even if the shadow of PB2 has fallen on you. Mr. PB1. I care not to ask the question to you since your safe ‘f’ video that you released on YouTube in 2011 is a celebrated classic in India.
PB1:	I had to remove that video within 24 hours since my reputation got damaged.
Me:	How come?
PB1:	People conceptualized me as an inhuman guy for using a latex and deny the pleasure to the other person.
Me:	My goodness. So you chose to be human?
PB1:	Yes. And till date I chose to stay as a human.
PB2:	%^&( , $^%&^(&*, &^(*_)
Me:	No curse words PB2. I hate to ask this question but let me ask you. "Have you ever been in love PB2?
PB2:	A guy loved me several years back.
Me:	Considering your age, shall I take it as 10 or 15 years back?
PB2:	Just listen you &^%*$. He loved me. I gave him my heart. He dumped me. That's how I became a playboy.
Me:	Even though it is an oft heard story (sigh!) I must admit that it brings a drop or two in my eyes.
PB1:	How many things are you premature at? Let me tell you what really happened. He loved. You are right. 15 years back. But both of them slept with whomever they wanted.
Me:	Open relationship?
PB1:	Yes. But PB2 was open 24*7. That caused the rift.
Me:	Gawd! And then....
PB2:	Am about to get committed with.......
Me:	Oh please PB2. In the past these many hmmmm.... years people heard you tell this line a million times.
PB2:	And yet guys still propose me. I even get calls from foreign countries like Philippines, Uganda, Egypt....
Me:	These are third world countries PB2.
PB2:	But they are foreign, right? Even yesterday two guys fought for me over phone. PB1 resolved the issue.
Me:	Interesting. Mr. PB1. Would you elaborate please?
PB1:	As the universe knows, PB2 had invented and promoted the term 'Conference Call'. He doesn't make the first call, but.
PB2:	How else do you think that I can maintain all my odd 2000 contacts? (showed me his phonebook)
Me:	Wowie. You have the numbers of almost every Gay or Bisexual on this planet I hope.
PB2:	The rest are in my laptop.
Me:	Lets get back to the slug fest story. Who are those blessed people that fought for PB2 last night?
PB1:	As usual PB2 gave me a missed call. I called back and then started a conference call. First, a guy aged 35 came online. He claimed that he has paid for the drinks of PB2 for the past one month. He also claimed that PB2 have shown him the depths of heaven by .........
Me:	Forget about the depths. What else?
PB1:	Then PB2 asked me to call another number which turned out to be a 21 year old boy. Now there are four of us in this conversation. That boy and this 32 years old started fighting over the ownership of PB2. That boy is really good. He started to cry. He said that he's even willing to die for PB2.
Me:	(If he had slept with PB2, he would have been dead by now) Is it? Did he know about the background of PB2?
PB1:	Everyone knows about his 'back'ground.
Me:	I meant his character and antecedents.
PB1:	Here comes the irony. That boy wishes to rehabilitate the life of PB2 by showing his love.
Me:	(He could have tried rehabilitation of lepers or beggars instead). So sweet of him. Mr. PB1. How did you resolve this issue?
PB1:	In the middle of our conversation, we could no longer hear the voice of PB2 even though he is still on line.
Me:	OMG! Did he became unconscious because of the love and emotional torture?
PB1:	You premature jerk. I only said we could not hear his voice over phone.
Me:	Then...
PB1:	We started hearing his moans.
PB2:	Don't blame me (^&*(*. I was travelling in train. It was 12 p.m. and the IRCTC guy who carried the tea container was more hotter than the tea he served. And so....
Me:	Fine. No more explanations. So PB2 got busy with an IRCTC vendor and PB1 was left with two angry lovers of PB2 fighting for his ownership. Tell me PB1. How did you solve this dilemma?
PB1:	Simple. I invited both of them to come over to my house.
PB2:	You are planning to bang my lovers????????? You son of a sandwich...
PB1:	Relax. I will send you the pictures.
Me:	Well readers. On that note, I am stopping this piece of scrap. Stay tuned on this one on two conversations as we find out more about the inside stories of the two legendary and celebrated play boys of this decade...