CATEGORIES OF GUYS IN PLANET ROMEO - FOR THOSE WHO LOVE TO READ SOMETHING CRAPPY (Part - I) - JOHN PAUL

CATEGORIES OF GUYS IN PLANET ROMEO - FOR THOSE WHO LOVE TO READ SOMETHING CRAPPY (Part - I)

- JOHN PAUL

 

(I am literally tired of penning down serious thoughts. Even Chuck Norris has become a joke and why not us. The disclaimer I have given in my previous article applies to this trash also. Not meant to hurt anyone. Just a blatant view that can be considered a mini - directory for those who enter into Planet Romeo. If you wanna consider this seriously then use it to psychologically assess the hues of PR.)

 

What Armstrong would have exclaimed had he first landed on PR instead of Moon? "A small step towards love but a giant leap for sex" (even I started yawning at this point. Seriously I could not find another best anecdote)

 

Now coming on to some reeeaallllllllllyyyyyyyyy serious thoughts:

 

Guys who say;

 

i) Even my mirror falls in love with me: The narcissist - those who love and admire themselves. In PR there are a few established models, some aspirants and then we have the Guys who worship themselves. What to say my dears? Go and rub your mirror. Mostly they look somewhat between average and good. They beg for footprints. Few compel us to come to their Guestbook before touching inbox. These people remind me of actor Vadivelu from 23aam pulikesi film. (வராதவரை வறுத்தி அழைத்து guestbookஇல்  comment'ஐ இரவல் கேட்டு வற்புறுத்தும் நீ, இன்றுமுதல் "அழகின் அளவுகோல்" என்று அனைவராலும் அன்போடு அழைக்கப்படுவாய்!..)

 

ii) My eyes are filled with love and my fingers blossoms roses and orchids: The eternal love seeker or in better terms babies obsessed with the feeling to get loved. Mostly they seek a short term love and attention. Even if they opt for a long term the opposite party usually runs off if there is something called brain inside his skull. Not to criticize. But these guys never send you 'hi'. Straight away they hit you with a "I love You". bang! Followed by "Will you marry me?". Bingo! Logic and reason. WTF! By the way. How many makes too many? If you get the answer call me. 

 

iii) My past is so dark that even black hole is afraid of it: The emotional flashbackers. My dears. Everyone has a past. Some had really happened and some arose out of your day dreams. A guy once tried to create sympathy saying that his ex - lover was dead in an accident one year ago and he's still living in his memory alone. Quite an emotional touch! It turned out to be otherwise. The dead guy is actually living and his latest FB update reads "Living my life to the fullest." This guy was ditched by him a long time back and then our fellow tried to convert this emotional loss into a pompous gain. Now there is a generation of Raja Rani movie diehard lovers who wish to incorporate something magical in their stories. So sad that these stories never live for a long time. Better try your hand at scriptwriting next time.

 

iv) I am the author of playbook: Group of fake playboys (they have not fully learned the nuances of the profession). They are not always the best looking men but they are always the best conversationalists who can trap even air in their hands. They are not genuine but interesting. They are fake but tempting. They can't feel love but cinema has spoiled our minds to a great extent that we start saying 'I will show true love to him and change his playboy life'. I can only pity the latter group. (There is a Tamil Proverb stating 'ஊழ்வினை உருத்துவந்து ஊட்டும்'  which roughly translates like 'the sins of your previous births will always follow you'. If this is what is written on your head then God saves.) Because you can escape even from the clutches of a real playboy. The wannabes are slightly difficult. Like a chicken struck in your interior molars!

 

v) Search for the term Alpha-male and my name will appear instantly: Mostly a group of married bisexuals or wannabe bisexuals. They try so hard to project them as the ultimate male anyone can dream of. Just hit the gym for three months, grow some body hair or even better just wear some freaky outfits, wear some coolers, show some manly arrogant poses and finally get listed in very hot and very sexy. Not a big deal right. Mostly they are a bunch of highly intolerable tops. Some people get turned on by those fake alpha attitudes while some like me usually puke. (If you are so alpha why don't you turn out to be a statue in Greece? Or may be he might be the reincarnation of some Greek God. Anyway I am not interested in mythical creatures. Are you?)

 

vi) I am the Sachin of Planet Romeo: Fine. They have played in almost all the grounds and pitches. Scored more than a century in love making. Has an impeccable group misadventure record too. Come on. If its a game there has to be a lot of players. Just because it is indoor doesn't mean that it should have two players like Chess. These people are fast approaching their mid - life but are very hesitant to retire from their first class career. My best advice: Get their blood tested for everything before letting even their shadow fall on you. They can be called as the ultimate university for gays. Who wishes to graduate through that? Definitely not me. What about you friend?  (ஆடிய பாதங்கள் கொஞ்சம் ஓய்வு பெறட்டும்!.. RIP.) One of the worst group of people you can frequently encounter. Run for your lives!!!!!!!!