Do
love-at-first-sight work out for gays?
-
John paul
A typical scene in PlanetRomeo
You look into a Guy’s profile with
relationship status. His headline will have a punch-line about love or how he
wishes to settle down with a guy throughout his life. Inside his profile you
might find the most romantic lines from Tamil hit movie songs (mostly from
Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya or Alaipayuthe). Then there will be few paragraphs explaining
how depth his love will be (of course he will be searching for some other
depths later) and how love is more important than sex (well these fellows have
an alternative name for sex i.e., love making and so the problem is solved). I
personally was attracted to such profiles few years back. But on chatting with
those guys I came to realize that they have hit a century in love making (come
on. It is PR. What else could you expect?). That’s not my concern because I
don’t like to judge anyone’s life. But why do you have fun in the name of love?
When you have kissed and had fun with more than hundred men how could a person
trust you for a relationship just because you have written pages and pages
about love. If in future if your partner kisses your lips which was already
kissed by a hundred men then what sort of feeling you are going to experience
and what difference it is gonna make to you?
I have seen several profiles in PR
with lofty lines about love and how they want to live happily ever after with
their prince charming. But are they genuine? These people propose to you even
before you both meet in person. You might have talked with them for a few days
or even few hours. Then all of a sudden he says ‘I love you’ or ‘will you marry
me?’. You are left in a delicate position now. If you say it is too fast then
he will ask, ‘Do you doubt me?’ or ‘If you really search for love you will
accept my love’. Emotional blackmailers!
Love-at-first-sight is magical.
One-of-a-kind feeling. But does it work out all the times and most importantly
does it work out for gays? Straight love is different. What you see in movie is
also different. You may have your fantasies. Step down to reality. Ask the most
successful gay couple. They all had a spark at the first meet. But did they
confess love at the first go? They met and met again. Shared their feelings.
Fought with each other. Tried to establish friendship first. After feeling that
that their life is empty without the other person they knelt down and asked
each other ‘Will you marry me?’. Compare this scene with the first incident I
told you. It is much more romantic and meaningful.
Gay relationship is much more
complicated than a tangled headset. Needs a lot of patience and commitment to
get things perfect. Imagine. You are staying with your partner. Both may not
earn the same salary. The financial needs of your family differ with his. Who
will cook and whether the other person would assist? How will you convince your
mom who needs to see her grandchildren or your father who loves to see you
married to a girl? Hundreds of such problems you are going to face everyday
will have only one solution called ‘Genuine Love’. Will your
love-at-first-sight guy understand all this? When you are apart and
occasionally meet during your love phase, things are as sweet as Dairy Milk
Silk. When you decide to live together it is much more chaotic than the Indian
Parliament.
You are not only gonna live together
but also gonna grow old together too. You may grow old, bald and stout. You may
get any lifestyle disease like diabetes. With Diabetes comes the sexual
complication. Your love-at-first-sight guy will definitely forsake you and run
behind other green pastures. But the person who understood about you first and
loved you for what you are will just say, “Darling. You are a sweet person.
With Diabetes you have become even sweeter.”
Why do most guys accept these blind
proposals?
·
Their life is
empty and they want someone else desperately to get it filled.
·
It has become a
style statement.
·
Makes them feel
good for time being.
·
The biggest
reason however is most guys have an inferiority complex and doubt about their
chances for getting the right person. So when an offer comes they immediately
jump on it like Somalian pirates on a Gold Mountain.
How to avoid such mistakes in life?
·
Have a self
concept. Know who you are and what you want. Decide your life. Don’t let others
to do it.
·
Rise up your
collar and say ‘I am good and I deserve more.’ This is not arrogance. It’s the
only way to boost a gay’s morale.
·
Never feel for
those blink and miss guys. An undeserving person runs away.
·
Beauty is not
everything. At the end of the day think what you are gonna live with is what
that matters.
·
PlanetRomeo is
good but only when used with a restraint. When you create a profile seeking
love why do you wanna write about sexual preferences and other details? You get
what you wish for. PR is not the end of everything. There’s a much bigger world
in front of you.
·
I am not a firm
believer of fate but there is one universal truth that never fails: If
something is there for you in this world you will get it one day no matter
what. But all you have to have till then is a little bit of patience and loads
of dignity. Not having a lover and being cheated in love does not mean that you
have to become a playboy. What if you get the right person at reach and then he
finds that you are a trash. So not having a lover is not a license for
prostitution. Because the consequences are pretty devastating.
My dear brothers! Now tell me. Do you need love-at-first-sight
or a person who genuinely loved after knowing even your worst minuses? First of
all think. Telling ‘I love you’ is easy which even a kid can do. But can you
really mean it?
FYI: There are two psychiatric problems namely ‘obsessive
love’ and ‘love addiction’. Those who have time just Google it, because you can
find loads of such guys in PR.
Wow!!!! Not having a lover is not a licence for prostitution.... Amazing.... That love at first site is amazing! I ve experienced it.... Fabulously written!!! Thank yu fr reminding me my nw dormant 1st love brother.... :'( :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWe
Deletelearn by mistakes. Just a part of our life. All of us have done it.
Just cheer up and take positively what life has to offer. May be you
would end up getting a better deal than your first.
Yeah yu r exactly rite john...
DeleteJus got kindled by old memories... Besides it was a positive comment... I loved evry si ngle word in dis.... Thanks anyways! And sry fr calling yu by name.. If yu r elder 2 me :p ;)
Please call me by my name. I'm 24 only.
Deletereally nice post dude., keep rocking man.,
ReplyDeleteThanx Madhan
Deleteettu suraikkai karikku udhavaadhu
ReplyDeleteTrue. Most people learn by experience. Few people require instruction.
Deletenice post...nd esp about PR ...what I m thinking is in your words...
ReplyDeletethanks brother
ReplyDeleteGood Post John. You Explain true love.
ReplyDeleteNobody can explain true love. One has to experience it to know what it is really.
Deletethis very article has changed the very attitude of my life bhaiyya ! Truly speaking ! Thanks a ton for it ! Honestly speaking !!! Will get back to you soon !! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Raj
DeleteVery well crafted article John. Especially the reason on why one falls for "love-at-first-sight" as quoted by you is very true and a bitter truth. I would like to add one more reason to it. There is a myth among homosexuals that having a partner makes them look respectable among our circle and otherwise they would be looked down as "hookers". There is no one in this world, living or dead, who can wrong you for living your life the way you want. If you wanna live your life single as long as you want there is no one who can condemn you. Ofcourse there will be a small group of narrow-minded-moral-preaching-glorified-souls who would call you a "slut. Whore. Bitch" Learn to ignore them. Get in to a relationship only if you feel the need to be in one and not because others around you want it or are preaching you into it. Those preachers won't come for your rescue when you experience difficulties in your instant relationship. Life is more than sex. Even if you have multiple partners and cannot confirm to a single partner it is not to blame you as long as your actions don't hinder another person's life. One becomes tinted only when he pretends to be someone he is not and goes on faking.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. Yes. We have gays indulging in moral policing against their own brothers.
Delete