Do love-at-first-sight work out for gays? - John Paul

Do love-at-first-sight work out for gays?

-        John paul

A typical scene in PlanetRomeo                                                                                          

       You look into a Guy’s profile with relationship status. His headline will have a punch-line about love or how he wishes to settle down with a guy throughout his life. Inside his profile you might find the most romantic lines from Tamil hit movie songs (mostly from Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya or Alaipayuthe). Then there will be few paragraphs explaining how depth his love will be (of course he will be searching for some other depths later) and how love is more important than sex (well these fellows have an alternative name for sex i.e., love making and so the problem is solved). I personally was attracted to such profiles few years back. But on chatting with those guys I came to realize that they have hit a century in love making (come on. It is PR. What else could you expect?). That’s not my concern because I don’t like to judge anyone’s life. But why do you have fun in the name of love? When you have kissed and had fun with more than hundred men how could a person trust you for a relationship just because you have written pages and pages about love. If in future if your partner kisses your lips which was already kissed by a hundred men then what sort of feeling you are going to experience and what difference it is gonna make to you?

          I have seen several profiles in PR with lofty lines about love and how they want to live happily ever after with their prince charming. But are they genuine? These people propose to you even before you both meet in person. You might have talked with them for a few days or even few hours. Then all of a sudden he says ‘I love you’ or ‘will you marry me?’. You are left in a delicate position now. If you say it is too fast then he will ask, ‘Do you doubt me?’ or ‘If you really search for love you will accept my love’. Emotional blackmailers!

          Love-at-first-sight is magical. One-of-a-kind feeling. But does it work out all the times and most importantly does it work out for gays? Straight love is different. What you see in movie is also different. You may have your fantasies. Step down to reality. Ask the most successful gay couple. They all had a spark at the first meet. But did they confess love at the first go? They met and met again. Shared their feelings. Fought with each other. Tried to establish friendship first. After feeling that that their life is empty without the other person they knelt down and asked each other ‘Will you marry me?’. Compare this scene with the first incident I told you. It is much more romantic and meaningful.

          Gay relationship is much more complicated than a tangled headset. Needs a lot of patience and commitment to get things perfect. Imagine. You are staying with your partner. Both may not earn the same salary. The financial needs of your family differ with his. Who will cook and whether the other person would assist? How will you convince your mom who needs to see her grandchildren or your father who loves to see you married to a girl? Hundreds of such problems you are going to face everyday will have only one solution called ‘Genuine Love’. Will your love-at-first-sight guy understand all this? When you are apart and occasionally meet during your love phase, things are as sweet as Dairy Milk Silk. When you decide to live together it is much more chaotic than the Indian Parliament.

          You are not only gonna live together but also gonna grow old together too. You may grow old, bald and stout. You may get any lifestyle disease like diabetes. With Diabetes comes the sexual complication. Your love-at-first-sight guy will definitely forsake you and run behind other green pastures. But the person who understood about you first and loved you for what you are will just say, “Darling. You are a sweet person. With Diabetes you have become even sweeter.”

         

          Why do most guys accept these blind proposals?

·        Their life is empty and they want someone else desperately to get it filled.

·        It has become a style statement.

·        Makes them feel good for time being.

·        The biggest reason however is most guys have an inferiority complex and doubt about their chances for getting the right person. So when an offer comes they immediately jump on it like Somalian pirates on a Gold Mountain.

How to avoid such mistakes in life?

·        Have a self concept. Know who you are and what you want. Decide your life. Don’t let others to do it.

·        Rise up your collar and say ‘I am good and I deserve more.’ This is not arrogance. It’s the only way to boost a gay’s morale.

·        Never feel for those blink and miss guys. An undeserving person runs away.

·        Beauty is not everything. At the end of the day think what you are gonna live with is what that matters.

·        PlanetRomeo is good but only when used with a restraint. When you create a profile seeking love why do you wanna write about sexual preferences and other details? You get what you wish for. PR is not the end of everything. There’s a much bigger world in front of you.

·        I am not a firm believer of fate but there is one universal truth that never fails: If something is there for you in this world you will get it one day no matter what. But all you have to have till then is a little bit of patience and loads of dignity. Not having a lover and being cheated in love does not mean that you have to become a playboy. What if you get the right person at reach and then he finds that you are a trash. So not having a lover is not a license for prostitution. Because the consequences are pretty devastating.

My dear brothers! Now tell me. Do you need love-at-first-sight or a person who genuinely loved after knowing even your worst minuses? First of all think. Telling ‘I love you’ is easy which even a kid can do. But can you really mean it?

FYI:   There are two psychiatric problems namely ‘obsessive love’ and ‘love addiction’. Those who have time just Google it, because you can find loads of such guys in PR.